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Hello
dear leslie,
i'm sure you get a hundred of these emails and questions and such to answer each day... honestly i feel a little silly bombarding you with such a question, but i could really use some insight and perhaps a bit of direction... i'll try to keep this short.
last summer my boyfriend and i started sleeping together. it was a terrible mistake and from the very first time i felt awful about it. though as everyone knows sin is often a tangled web and satan was whispering sweet lies in my ear. the sex lasted off and on until this past decemeber at which point i said enough is enough we can't be right in the Lord's eyes and continue this lifestlye. i broke things off with him for a while and we took the time to refocus on the Lord. today, even just three months later, i can honestly say that the Lord heals. i have seen a turn around of 180 degrees in his life and in mine. but there are still lingering feelings of guilt and regret and the worry of, what if anyone ever found out about this. no one knows about what we have done. we both attend a small christian university and would be kicked out if anyone were to know. the weight of my secret kills me. i know we need spritual counciling, this sin is to easy to fall back into. i know i need scriptures that can speak to my
heart right now. i know i need answers. i have searched bookstores and online for items that could help, but have found nothing. there aren't books that say, here's what you do if you've messed up, but want to get back on track. everything just says, here's how to avoid sexual sin. well, what on earth do i do if i'm passed that? i'm so confused and worried. he and i have discussed marriage. is this a possiblity if we have messed up? how can we avoid this causing problems later on down the road? do you have any suggestions on books i could read or scripture i could consult? please help. i have no one to talk to. i told my mother and she thinks it's normal for people my age to sleep together. and i've got a prof here who told me, though i didn't specify the sin, that if a christian does sin they go to hell and loose their salvation. i know this can't be true, but it has cast a shadow of doubt upon me. any advice you can give will be greatly appreciated. sorry that went so long...
...brooke...
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